Friday Fictioneers: The Damselfly

Posted: June 22, 2012 in Friday Fictioneers, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

“Find your contact.”

A simple command, but the students understood. Many were drawn to trees. A few pressed their bodies against boulders. One lay flat on the ground. Malia looked around the forest clearing. Nothing spoke to her. Others were already assimilating—hands melting into bark, faces fading to stone grey. A twinge of panic. Then, the tiniest whisper of energy. A damselfly. It flitted forward and she immediately followed.

“Malia? Malia!”

Tutor’s voice called her back. She was already beyond the clearing’s edge. Leaving her classmates rooted to their chosen element, she allowed the air to carry her away.

***

Hope you enjoyed my 100-word story. Feel free to comment. Check out “Friday Fictioneers,” a fun feature on Madison Woods‘ website. Take a look and find more great stories, or add one of your own.

Advertisements
Comments
  1. Really interesting take on the prompt – nicely done.

  2. Kwadwo says:

    “… she allowed the air to carry her away.”
    Nicely tied up story.

    http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/21/a-silent-moment/

  3. erinleary says:

    Ethereal and eerie – lots told in very few words.

    Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/flash-friday-fiction-6/#entry

  4. raina says:

    i enjoyed this keli, its light, and pretty…

  5. Lora Mitchell says:

    Questions: Did Malia go over the clearing’s edge? Was it a cliff? Did she die? I’m #2 on the list.

    • keliwright says:

      No cliff. Just the edge of the clearing. I appreciate the question. I like to see my work through other people’s eyes. It helps me locate ambiguities both where I don’t want them and where I do.

  6. That was great! Such imagination, yet written in such a realistic way! Very original. I absolutely loved it! Mine’s on the list.

  7. elmowrites says:

    There is a great deal of realism in this piece, but it has a fantasy edge which made me feel that Malia was safe even though she walked over the cliff. I hope I’m right – the Tutor didn’t seem so sure.
    I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/friday-fiction-the-crossing/

    • keliwright says:

      The cliff again. Hmmm… There wasn’t one, but it’s interesting that two readers saw it anyway. I love seeing things through other eyes. The experience often opens my own.

      Thanks for your comments. I left some on your very enjoyable story as well.

  8. rgayer55 says:

    I didn’t see a cliff in my mind. She was just caught up in the magic of the moment and the floating away was more of a metaphor, but that’s just my interpretation.

    • keliwright says:

      Your right, Russell. Although there is also a fantasy aspect that allows for a literal elemental link. I hope? But then, on another level, fantasy is often expanded metaphor, is it not?

      Thanks for commenting. Left one for you, too.

  9. Nice tempo. I was moved along as drifting in water. Very creative. Thank you for sharing!

  10. Hi Keli,
    Talk about getting into nature worship. This was an excellent interp of the photo, a fun read, and a strong ending. Thanks for all that and for reading and commenting on my story.

  11. Fantastic piece of world creation in just a few words. Very enjoyable.

  12. I took it on the fantasy level. Loved this little piece immensely and hope you have a whole book to go with it. It’s right up my alley 😉

  13. janmorrill says:

    I love this, especially the end, where she flew.

  14. dmmacilroy says:

    Madison beat me to it (Not surprising as I am late up to my mountain aerie tonight) but I was going to say that she’d probably love this story. Reminded me of her and she reminds me of Mother Nature so you’re in good company. Beautifully written. I knew where you were going and I had chills when you got there.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/kaleidoscope/

    • keliwright says:

      So glad you liked it, Doug. I enjoyed your story and your blog. Ozymandias (one of my favorite poems) and the link to the poetry prompt, not to mention your own writing and those great photos. I really loved the volcanic photo Madison used a few weeks ago. That was yours, correct? Very inspiring. Nice to finally make the connection. 🙂

      • dmmacilroy says:

        Dear Keli,

        More than you know, though I’ll try to tell you as often as I can, connecting with you in this way is very fulfilling to me as a person and as a writer.

        As I said above, your story this week was nearly seamless and perfect as I could tell. Like your protagonist, I was picked up and swept away by it.

        Yes, it was my photo. The cinder cone central to it is named Poli’ahu and I caught it just after a big snow.

        Thank you for roaming about in my blog. I feel like Ozymandias during his heyday when someone lets me know they’re reading there.

        Aloha,

        Doug

  15. iamjimmydean says:

    very cool. Nice and fantastical, and whether on purpose or not, great scifi flash

    New flash fiction on TrueLee Fiction

    read. enjoy. share.

    http://trueleefiction.wordpress.com/category/flash-fiction/

  16. imaladybug says:

    A beautiful contrast between the clunky and the ethereal. I didn’t get a fantasy feel, more of a dreamy reality and individualism. I would love to meet your Malia who can pick up on “the tiniest whisper of eneryg, and a person who can allow the air to carry her away.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s