Friday Fictioneers: Contact

Posted: August 10, 2012 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: , , , , , ,

Photo by Susan Wenzel

Water rippled away from her fingertips.  She had seen the shell clearly, centimeters from the surface.    It seemed a simple thing to retrieve, but she should have touched it already.  Focus was everything; anxiety, adrenaline were distractions.  She breathed deep, pushed through, purposefully, until she felt the boundaries of dimension shift.  There it was—the hard edge of the double lobes.  She ran her fingers over the smooth exposed plane of each half, lingered at the point of connection, then withdrew her hand, resisting the temptation to pull the shell back to her side.  Contact was enough for now.

Hope you enjoyed my 100-word (99, actually) story.  I love comments and critique.  Read more great stories or add one of your own at Friday Fictioneers on Madison Woods’ website.

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Comments
  1. Carl and Carol Cornwall says:

    Love this one!!

  2. Jan Morrill says:

    I love this Keli. You incorporated the detail of the picture so well in your descriptions. And I love that she left the shell.

    Thank you for your comment on my poem, too!

    –Jan
    http://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/08/10/fridayfictioneers-flashfiction-shell-phone/

  3. Sandra says:

    Beautifully crafted. An intriguing opener.

  4. boomiebol says:

    I especially like the imagery you created here. Very vivid and nicely done

  5. rgayer55 says:

    I love that you mentioned the ripples. I get the feeling that this is a time & space thing–reaching to another dimension. Very thought provoking

    Thanks for visiting & commenting on mine. http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/

    • keliwright says:

      Russell, you are right on. It’s always gratifying when someone gets what I’m trying to communicate. I don’t always do it well. One more drop in my bucket. Thanks!

  6. Beth Carter says:

    Nicely done. I was right there with her and am also glad she left the shell behind.

    Thanks for your comments on mine. For others it’s at http://banterwithbeth.blogspot.com/

  7. Brian Benoit says:

    Ooh, nice – a bit of a fantasy take. You described the process really nicely, and this makes me want to know more about this power / the different sides. Nice one!

    • keliwright says:

      Kinda makes me want to know more, too. This, like many other Friday Fictioneers pieces I’ve read, seems like it could shape up into something longer than a flash. Thanks for your comment.

  8. At first I thought your character was dealing with parallax error…but now I see she is being held back by something else. I cannot help but wonder what is stopping her if she wants it so badly. Do tell…

    ~Susan

    • keliwright says:

      I was considering inter-dimensional exploration. This was an early attempt by the MC, and contact was the essential point. Also a thought on interaction v conquest/possession. –I think I take this way too seriously. 🙂

  9. Wonder why she is hesitant to touch it. What’s the anxiety? Can she be an alien and this is her first exposure to the seashell? Do tell.

    • keliwright says:

      See my comment to Susan above. The tension comes more from trying to maintain control of herself in order to achieve her aim than from any concern she has about actually making contact. Tough to include all the nuances in 100 words. :/ Thanks for commenting!

  10. vbholmes says:

    Very interesting that she allowed herself to touch the shell but not to remove it. Interesting take on dimension jumping.

  11. rochellewisoff says:

    Nice imagery and feeling. Quite tactile.
    http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/08/safe.html

  12. janet says:

    You surprised me with what you did with this. I also like the understatement of it.

  13. Fascinating! I love the hesitancy of the act – the tentative reaching into another dimension. It was very well written.

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