Friday Fictioneers: The Old One

Posted: September 20, 2012 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Photo by Lora Mitchell

I usually wait until Friday to post to Friday Fictioneers, but I will be travelling again tomorrow, and this prompt was too lovely to pass up.

Feel free to critique–positive or constructive negative.  I can take it.  I can even take deconstructed negative, and possibly unconstructed, but just plain negative brings the whole tone of the discussion down, don’t you think?  😉  Have a great Friday!

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The Old One

Battled off by sylphs for years, age had not touched Belinda early.  She entered her fifties with alabaster skin unwrinkled and eyes clear and bright.  But as her sixth decade wore on, her guardians flew to younger faces and soon Ariel alone was her protector.  He kept her surface safe, but the veins beneath her skin began to appear, thin channels through which her life flowed visibly now.  Nightly she traced the memories in her body, until the grandchild arrived and Ariel knew his time was spent.  The velvet wrinkles came quickly, and the infant girl played with air spirits.

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Hope you enjoyed my drabble.  Read more stories or add one of your own at Friday Fictioneers on Madison Woods’ website.

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Comments
  1. I think this one hits too close to this aging home. It’s a good story nonetheless. Have a safe trip.

  2. Hi Keli,
    The words flow beautifully here and the descriptive passages are visually great. Ron

    • keliwright says:

      Thanks, Ron. I struggled with it; it employs some rather overused descriptives. But alabaster was exactly what I meant, for instance, so I used it. I hoped that the early choices would also give a sense of shallowness–Belinda’s beauty at that point was only skin deep.

  3. rich says:

    yeah, sometimes it seems like we grow old overnight. and our kids grow up overnight too.

  4. rgayer55 says:

    My kids have aged me, but the grandchildren take the edge off it. Nice story, Keli.

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